My life, Turned into a Horror film...

Ok, forget everything I just wrote about bugs... Most of the time, it isn't an issue and I really don't mind ushering a spider out the door if it has decided to make a home in the corner of my room or just ignoring the fact that there are ants making a trail down the wall.

Tonight however, was different...
Tonight I declared war...

Here is what happened and you can be my judge on if my change of heart is warranted or not.

It was a normal night.
Therese (my room-mate) was out in the courtyard speaking with a friend on the phone.
I was sitting in the corner of my room writing my last blog post.
Minding my own business.
Not bothering anyone.
The lights were out....
A candle was lit...
There was soft music playing...

Out of no where I hear a sound that will haunt my dreams for weeks... possibly years...
A loud humming of large wings flitting past my ear.

Now, let me just note that I am not exaggerating here... Everything I am saying is true and can be verified by Therese who was not present at the beginning of this retelling, however who was ushered into my "chamber of horrors" shortly after it began.

Back, to my story...
All I see in the dim light is a bug hitting my computer screen.
A flying bug in case you missed it.
The size (remember not exaggerating here) of a baseball (with its wings open)
HO-LY-MO-LEY!!!!!
I jumped up and ran to the wall to turn on the lights and find out what the heck just went past me...

My personal horror movie continues...

The lights... don't turn on...
I see the bug climb on the screen for a minute...
Then to my HOR-ROR!!!
It flies across the room and lands on MY RIGHT SHOULDER...

Have I mentioned it is about 95 degrees in my room and I am wearing a camisole...

Yeah, make that BARE SHOULDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have any idea...
No, no you don't, you weren't there...

 I did not scream, because I didn't want to wake up the children in the house...

I had the reaction that you always yell at people in the movies for having.
"If I don't look at it, maybe it isn't really there"...
Yeah, yeah right...
I look, just to verify that it is there...
Sure enough, a bug the size of a small Buick is sitting on my shoulder
Slowly crawling up it toward my head...

I flung it off my shoulder and it flew to the other side of the room

So I did the obvious thing...
I got the heck out of dodge...
Or tried...
As always happens in these types of movies...
My door was stuck...
Not even the normal stuck where it won't budge...
The worst type of stuck...
Where it gives you just a little hope it will open by opening just a tiny bit...
Then sticking...
HO-LY-MO-LEY

Therese who was outside the door asked what was happening, I responded...
THERE IS A GIANT BUG IN HERE ATTACKING ME AND MY DOOR WON'T OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am pretty sure she is still laughing about it...

Then my lights decide to work and come on...
My door decides to do what doors should do and opens
And I stumble out into the courtyard...
FREE!

Then we turned to see this creature...
Oh yeah...
Its a flying...

COCKROACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They aren't supposed to fly...
This one however (from the size and the fact that it flies!) must have mutated...

blech!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so proud of Therese...
When she saw it she ran out of the room covering her head :)
However, unlike me who stated I would rather just sleep in the courtyard than go back in there...
She went and got the broom
And slayed my foul attacker...

I can now sleep peacefully...
Until... the next time...

Africa...
Come on...